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Polish Wedding | Polish Engagement | Polish Bride and Polish Groom

Finally your life as a single is coming to an end! If your relationship is a successful one, it is a wedding that will crown it. Don’t you long for that day?
Since Poland is a mixture of tradition and modernity in almost every aspect of life, weddings are no exception. Old Polish wedding customs are still alive in the countryside, while in small and big cities modern style prevails. But even a very modern Polish wedding will have its distinctive, unforgettable charm and taste, the one you’ll never forget – no matter what your role – newlywed or just a guest.
Rich and old customs, beautiful outfits, dignity of the church, and then dancing, singing, delicious foods and vodka – there is no event like a wedding to prove that Poles love life and live life to the fullest. I had a chance to be at a Polish wedding – I had the time of my life and I met a wonderful woman whom I later dated for a year (before she left Poland for UK – but that’s another story).

What if you’re of a different religion or nationality?

If you’re not Polish and not Catholic Christian, do not worry. Poles have traditionally been tolerant people and although post-war socialism did not give an average Pole the chance to see many foreigners (they were behind the iron curtain for 50 years, remember?), marriages between Polish singles (especially Polish women) and foreign nationals of different religions and even races, are now becoming quite common. It is especially visible since 2004, when Poland joined the European Union and many Poles, mainly young people, left their country and settled abroad. Of course if you’re Catholic or have Catholic background – Irish, German, Italian, French etc. - you probably won’t even be considered any ‘different’. But if you’re not Catholic, you have nothing to be concerned about either. Love can overcome all differences and barriers – just make sure you agree with your Polish partner on all faith related issues prior to getting married. For instance, what faith will your children be brought up in? Do you both remain in your faith or is one of you willing to convert? The more you sort out and agree upon prior to getting married, the happier your marriage and your family will be.

Engagement

Like almost everywhere else in the world, Polish wedding is preceded by engagement. In old Poland, an engagement was an important celebration during which a groom would give an engagement ring to the bride. Today’s Poland,a small engagement party is held for the closest family of the bride and the groom and they are meant to introduce the two families to each other. In some cases no party is organized at all, instead the parents of one party invite the parents of the other over to dinner. Or they both just go out together for dinner to a restaurant.

Bachelor party

Bachelor and bachelorette parties are widely popular in Poland. Bachelor party is called “wieczor kawalerski” (meaning “bachelor’s night” or “single’s night”) and it used to be paid by bachelor’s guest. Today, it usually is not the case and it is a bachelor who pays. Unlike in the West, there is less emphasis on erotic excesses, but more on socializing and drinking.

Bachelorette parties

in Poland (called Wieczor Panienski in Polish) are simply gatherings of young ladies where plenty of gossip and socializing take place. This is changing now as well, adding to the list some spicy attractions, like male dancers for example...

Wedding ceremony

in Poland can take place either in civil court (called Urząd Stanu Cywilnego) or in Church – both are legally binding, so you don’t have to have one and the other. If your ceremony will take place in a Catholic church, you and your loved one will be required to take a so called pre-marriage course, which in theory, is a way of preparing young couples for the ceremony and marriage life.It is possible to get exemption from the pre-marriage course under certain conditions – talk to the priest to find out details. If you are not Roman Catholic, but your bride (or groom) is, you may still marry in Polish Catholic Church but you must discuss details with a local priest.  Before the wedding ceremony can take place in the church, the intention of the couple to get married has to be announced by the priest during the mass, on 3 consecutive Sundays preceding the ceremony. The traditional reasons for announcements (called in Polish “zapowiedzi”) were to allow public to raise objections and report polygamists or other issues that stood on the way of the wedding. Today it is merely a nice tradition that young couples embraces with a sense of pride. During the wedding ceremony, the priest reads the pledges and both bride and the groom have to repeat each pledge aloud after the priest.

Traditional Polish Wedding Party

In the past, Polish weddings used to take place after harvest time at the bride’s home. Local housewives and family members would be working weeks in advance to prepare the plentiful of delightful dishes required by local custom and tradition – not surprisingly Polish weddings would be quite excessive and they could last as long as 7 days! The financing of the party lay upon the bride’s parents and they often had to sell part of their assets to fulfill this obligation. After leaving the church, the couple would go to the brides’ home where her parents would treat the newlyweds to bread and salt and bless them to ensure happiness and well-being. Around midnight on the wedding party, the traditional ceremony called “oczepiny” would be performed. The bride would be led to a separate room, take the wedding garland from her head, cut her braids and shortened her hair. This symbolized the end of her innocence and an acceptance, the beginning of her new life as wife, host, mother and housewife.

Today's Wedding Polish Style

Today, Polish wedding parties are much more modest and usually, both groom’s and bride’s parents equally share the cost. In fact, it is often groom and bride that share the cost – young people usually earn better than their parents. Nowadays Polish weddings are usually held in a place designated for wedding parties called “dom weselny” (wedding manor) or in a restaurant. A wedding party usually starts on Saturday evening and continues through to Sunday. Despite modern influences, Polish wedding parties are still a big event, when compared to wedding parties in the West, with abundance of delicious food and drinks. People dance and sing from the moment the first note is played. In addition, many customs and traditions (like blessing with salt and bread) are still part of the ceremony, no matter how modern or how expensive the party is. Poles are energetic and flexible people, and if you can only pay your bills, all wedding services are in place to take the burden of wedding preparations off your shoulders. You can even hire one of the growing numbers of wedding consultants so the sky (or, shall I say ‘your pocket’?) is the limit.


Sent by Stefan | Vienna, Austria


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